Thank you and good bye!

Unfortunately it's come to a point where this blog doesn't serve its purpose anymore. The husband have become too busy to write, it has become a complain and ranting ground of negative things for me, all of which it was never meant to be - which is also why I have sieved through all posts and deleted some.

I've come to realise that some things are best left alone, if it is the only way I can achieve peace with myself and be happy, then that's the way it has to be.

We won't shut it down as the blog documents the first 2 years of our married life, a very happy 2 years but as we move on to the next phase of life, we think it is best to start anew, and try to make the best of it positively.

To protect ourselves and our family, we can no longer blog freely, as we have noticed that this blog have become a bit of a track and spot device for certain people we are trying to avoid so any new blog we might start will be fully anonymous, which is sad but necessary.

Many thanks to all who have been readers of our blog.

24

24 more days until the dissertation goes IN!

YES! We both can't wait until it's over. In fact the husband's due in 17 days!

We want to start living, we want our weekends back. We want to enjoy our finally about to be done home which we have worked so hard for.

I want to start consulting. I want to start knitting again. 2 months to knit a nice, warm blanket before little spanish baby girl arrives just in time for winter!!

Meanwhile, here's a recent picture of our handsome baby boy, isn't he just adorable?

It wears me out, it wears me out..

10 years ago, I was 15 and lepaking in the 'fake' CD shop before my BM tuition classes.

I don't usually buy CD's. I prefer the randomness of MTV and Channel V, but I did fall in love with a song and I was going to hunt it down and listen to it on repeat (as I do).

So I found that song on a top rock hits CD. Bought it immediately and listened to it over and over.

Eventually I did move on to the other songs in the CD. One of them is Fake Plastic Trees.

I thought, strange name for a song huh? But I got addicted anyway..

So fake plastic trees played, over and over and today 10 years later, it is still one of my favourite songs.

The song has very deep lyrics. To me, it's a reminder to always evalute the things around me and sort the real from the fake, the important from the unimportant.

There's no point getting all worked up for something 'fake', it just wears you out... like it often does me, unfortunately.

the man I love

Love in the morning.

the Malaysian holiday

This post is long overdue, as is the literature review for my thesis. We are lazy people and are currently doing anything else BUT our thesis :P

So Dodgy Mike dragged us back to Msia to attend a wedding.

Dragged because the hardest part was leaving the babies (as usual, I flooded the taxi, airport and plane).. also, the thought of a 21 hour door to door journey isn't fun.

Anyhow, we are both glad we made the trip, it was really nice to spend time with family and the wedding was lovely.

The parents took us on holiday to Pangkor. Well.. to a neighbouring island because we decided you can either afford Pangkor properly or do something else.

As a child, I used to loathe Pangkor, the ferry was usually dirty, the journey took forever and there's nothing on that island besides ikan bilis (anchovies), ikan bilis and oh...more ikan bilis.

I've been there at least 3 times and have no idea how I missed this:-


There's a hornbill (yes, apparently there are hornbills in Pangkor) eating leftover papaya on the table.

We didn't take many pictures.. we are lazy people. But here are the brothers in law playing Mario Kart.

Everyone thinks that they are brothers.. They have a rather strange relationship. One nags the other gets nagged but they do like each other. We do love smelly boy - there's nothing better like having a botak younger brother you can bully!

And of course there's the wedding. We've been waiting at least 3 years to attend this wedding, but it was well worth the wait, it was beautiful and the bride and groom looks lovely, very much settled and in love.

Here's the culprit who made us go

Strangely we do not have a photo with the bride and groom as we were too busy helping with things and moving around.

Anyhow.. Congratulations CS and J! Thank you for letting us share your day. :)

I do admire people who are able to host proper big weddings. We are both too selfish to do anything of this sort, we don't like the attention and having to host long lost relations we both don't know or don't like.

Hence our small but intimate picnic wedding from 2 years ago ;) I only wish my grandparents, parents, brother and cousins could have been there.

Anyway...

I think the husband is officially in love with Ipoh food.

He have always hated taugeh (beansprouts) but these, he loves.

We celebrated mumzy's birthday with her (and got scolded because it was 2 days early and she didn't want to turn 49 before she had to) and had yummy buttercream cake.

We also discovered that the husband and Ah Kong (my grandfather) have the same watch! Ah Kong's watch is 30 years old and the husband's 10 but essentially, they are brothers.

It was a strange feeling to discover that they both have the same watch. I know it is coincidence but somehow it tells me that I married the right man and I have Ah Kong's approval. Silly, I know.. but heart warming :)

It was a good holiday, although now we are both stuck dreaming of Ipoh nga choi kai, the husband wants to eat 3 yim kok kai (salted chicken) in one sitting, I want to live in a swimming pool of wan tan mee with a border portion of wan tan and we both stare at pictures of Pasir Pinji chee cheong fun whenever we are feeling hungry.

Of course, we miss the people too. There's nothing like family, I only wish I could bring them all here and have them together with the dogs, rabbits and fishes too!

when genes play catch up

I remember the day my mum turned 30.

I was super excited, afterall it's a Birthday! Yay, cakes and all things nice.

But the mother was gloomy, she was rather prickly and didn't want any mention of her birthday at all.

I got rather confused - what's the big deal about turning 30? It's a birthday and birthday means cake and cake makes a happy girl.

Yes, I do love cake especially the ones with butter cream that makes you extra fat.

Fatty cake makes for an even happier girl :)

Anyway..

Next Monday, I turn 25.

Sigh..

25!? Yesterday I was 19! I don't remember being 20,21,22,23,24..

I never thought this day would come, but the way it is going, the day I turn 30, I would be the same sad woman my mother was 24 years ago when she turned 30.

How to challenge the sun

Yesterday was a 'record' (the weather is always a record to the Brits) hottest day of the year so far.

Yes, I could have told them that minus their termometers and weather experts.

How?

June 27th for the past 2 years have been that - a record hottest day of the year so far.

How do I know?

We had our wedding picnic party on June 27th and I remember being toasted black by the sun and last year during our anniversary we were toasted again during a picnic in Horsham with family friends.

This year I managed to stay indoors but it was so hot it might as well be a home sauna.

So this morning I had a plan.

I bathed in ultra cold freezing water after walking the dogs.

Changed into my shortest shorts and thinnest sleeveless tee.

Took our table fan downstairs, stuck it on a high table pointed it at my direction and switched it on to maximum.

Flung the windows and doors wide open.

I was ready. I wasn't going to bake in the heat today.

Only there's one verrrrryy minor problem.




The sun have decided to have a laugh at me and is no where to be seen....

Darn!

What can change the nature of a man?

I remember the first time I came across that question, playing Planescape: Torment (I still rate it as one of the greatest games of all time). For some reason, the question popped into my head a couple of days ago again, and I realise, far too late, that even though that game affected me profoundly and made me sit and think, if I were to play the game for the first time again today, how much more meaningful it would be to me. What did the 14/15 year old me know about change and life? What did the stupid boy know about being a man?

I look back at who I was and see just how much I have changed, how I have gone from being a boy to a man; from being a selfish, irresponsible person to someone who now has so many things to deal with, a life to live; from being someone who just wanted to write code in a corner in peace to someone who's facing customers pretty regularly. Quite a lot of change to go through in such a short period of time.

And I realise one other thing. I'm happy. What can change the nature of a man? Torment's script was written in such a way that no matter what answer the Nameless One gave, it would have been the right answer. My answer, right now, today - is love. I may not be who I thought I was going to be when I was younger and dumber, but I have the love of my wife (yes, she's listening to that Bette Midler song right now), and she has mine, and that is all we need.

Done and dusted

Finished my last paper today - Information Resources Management.

And that's it..

I can't believe it. We have both finally finished all our coursework and exams, all that's left now are our thesis.

With some luck, this is also going to be goodbye to formal education. At least until I start itching about getting my MBA (I hope not!). The husband has had enough and isn't interested in any MBA.

I remember the first day he started his part time- postgrad almost 2 years ago. I thought to myself, it's going to be 2 years of part time hell.

Sure enough it was, we have tried to juggle so much over the last 2 years I'm surprised we managed to come out fairly unscathed (besides being burnt with the crazy mother problem).

Actually we have also found a solution to that problem. We've put a filter in that automatically sends her emails into the trash.

I've been asked by several people if they think it is right to do that. Afterall, she is his mother.

Yes, I totally understand that and I would never recommend what we are doing to anyone either, but in our situation, the amount of damage she's caused and is STILL causing warrants it.

I don't think anyone (even his mother) has the right to constantly make unwanted, untrue, hurtful remarks about me, us and our family.

Apparently, a filial daughter in law will just laugh it off or keep quiet about it. Well, thanks but no thanks, I can live with being unfilial.

We will move on with our lives.

With much luck, I should get some form of a consultant/project manager job by November.. gain 2 - 3 years of experience then maybe with lots and lots of luck, we will find ourselves in a position, ready to start a family.

But you're so precious to me.. sweet as can be..

I have the annoying ability to listen to the same song over and over (when I say over and over, I probably put it on play over 10 hours everyday for 3 weeks or so).

Eventually I either get sick of it or move to another song on repeat. It takes forever to get something out of my system.

Unfortunately for the husband who have been working from home quite a bit these days, his ears suffer.

At the moment, am midway on exams - 2 gone, 2 to go and the dogs are suffering on this song

Actually, they get quite calm when it plays but I'm sure they are sick of it by now, poor babies, but it does say so much about how I feel about them.

From your head down to your toes,

You're not much goodness knows,

But you're so precious to me, sweet as can be,

Baby of mine.

Family is a privilege, NOT a right

I love my mother. I love her even more because it was Mother's Day in Msia on Sunday and I forgot (Mother's Day in UK is on a different day) and frankly, my mum doesn't care. Called her today and nope, she is as normal as ever, nagging me about eating chicken liver pate.

Unlike the husband who got a sudden influx of rather skewed emails no thanks to Mother's Day marketing campaigns (his words, not mine) about how he should start becoming a better son before it is all too late (yeap, the I will be dead before you card).

Strange, because who is to say who is going to die first?

Anyway, my point - Family is a privilege, not a right.

And nope, if you have shaken away a privilege because family is misbehaving, I try to live by my other motto - No Regrets.

So here's my family enjoying the sunshine in April, until the ants attacked him :P

And here a little something from our Spanish friends, it was delicious!

 

Eaten with home made foccacia baked with garden grown rosemary

 

And 2 beady eyed dogs waiting for a chance to swipe some ham or bread or or or, cheese!

 

And we finish the night with lots of love and cuddles :)

Ahh.. perfection!

Happy Anniversary babyboo!

Today marks our 7th anniversary together.

The husband booked a table in Le Gavroche for dinner tonight! And we are both super excited about it!

This will be our first time in a 2 Michelin stars restaurant.

Well.. it will also be our first time in a 'fine dining' restaurant as my brother calls it.

Thank you babyboo for being so thoughtful!

Blind

I first heard this song on the plane to London after my STPM. That was December 2005.

I was blind, and maybe am still. But a big part of me will definitely die if I let you go.

Rebel

This year's April is particularly hot. This past week the weather have been at 25 degrees consistently. It's a bit of a struggle for us but guess who is enjoying all the sunshine?

Yesterday the husband's new toy arrived - a toaster. He's been begging for one for ages. I personally hate toasters.

I'm not big on toast and for something that does only 1 thing it takes up loads of space and makes a mess.

Maybe that's because we have been buying £5 tesco toasters.

So we decided now that we have a home and is a lot more settled to buy a slightly better toaster. A £30 one.

That's the handsome husband cuddling his new toaster. Bronx looks shocked for some reason.

X-Dog

The lean, mean eating machine recovered from her surgery in 2 days and is back to terrorising the neighbourhood cats and dragging the wife across the street.

I've come to the conclusion that we are proud owners of a mutant dog with a liver that appears to be functioning normally despite being 2/3 the normal size and an increased appetite and healing factor.

Look out, cats.

The babies

My project management coursework is giving me cold hands and feet.

I didn't know it was supposed to be THIS difficult. There are too many repeating and clashing elements.

How many times can I write, rewrite and reword essentially the same thing that sits on different documents???

ARGH

At such times, photos like these really help cheer me up. It reminds me what I'm working for and why I'm slaving over this bloody document

 

And here's big baby.. with his little bo peep hat and easter duck handbag

Bluetooth is cool!

Yeap, it's finally working for me. I've been wanting to load this picture for MONTHS! It was probably taken last spring!?

The first baby the husband ever held was Maxie. That was about 5 years ago. I remember passing Max to him thinking he would instintively take Max and bring Max close to his body for a cuddle.

WRONG..

He took Max and held him up but away from his body like Max was some alien thing.. and they both stared at each other.

Haha!

He's improved quite a bit now, and all that training with Max, L and M have made him quite proficient.

Ang Mor Dog

This Sunday is the husband's birthday.. I offered to host a BBQ party (he LOVES the barbie, and so does Mike.. it must be a man thing, they have the urge to grill meat) so Mike offered to help do up the garden.

Our garden have been a bit of a mess while we were doing up the house. We cut down all the massive plants (that was headquaters for some extra large spiders) and crawly plants and left ourselves a blank canvas.

It took us half a Saturday and half a Sunday and now it is beautiful :)

We left a patch to the left for a vegetable garden.

The dogs absolutely love the new garden. They've been doing some exploring and Bunny's been lying out in the grass while we did the lights.

She's not well now so haven't spent much time outside. Bronx has the whole garden to himself and is taking full advantage of it.

You can tell he's an ang mor dog adopted by a Chinese family. Some things just don't change, the sun comes out and Bronx goes sun bathing, just like the rest of the ang mor community while me and the husband desperately look for some shade before we fall over and die.

Drugged up dog

Post-painkillers

Tough bitch

A testament to the spirit of our dog - she may have gone through massive surgery yesterday, she may be drugged to the hilt with painkillers and have a scar the length of my arm running down her belly, but she will still attempt to murder a bee that flies into the house. Long live Bunny!

Goodbye girl

The 9th of April is coming up again and this time, it would be 7 years since we first 'met'.

It was a day before his birthday, I was just going to leave the computer to pack for a trip to KL that night when this irritating random man messaged me on ICQ for the THIRD time.

Goodness gracious, he sure is persistant, and he doesn't even know me. And he had an annoying nickname 'soonami' - I thought he was some stupid 20 something dirty minded man who thinks he is as powerful as a tsunami but couldn't spell.

Oddly of course, I discovered that his surname is actually Soon. So it was a play of words, but it wasn't because he couldn't spell. Thank god.

The even weirder thing is that after we got married, I took his surname, and now I'm Mrs. Soon Ae Mi. So basically, I've become soonami with an E. Strange hey?

Our love story isn't a simple one, it was a struggle, mainly because of distance. He was in London I was in Ipoh. We were young, we were penniless and we couldn't make any decisions without involving our parents.

I remember thinking it is going to take us forever to find a stable platform. Every time we found the opportunity to meet, every time we held hands, it was precious because we couldn't take it for granted.

A close friend took this photo of us sometime in August 2004.

We were both so young then, our love seem so raw, so excitable.

This photo was taken sometime before Christmas 

We look so different now. He has lost a lot of his boyish looks and we are so much calmer and contented with each other.

I remember he used to promise me that we will make it to the end, that he will show me a better life, take me away from my misery and unhappiness.

I never really believed him, but when I look around me now I know he has kept his promise. We are now a family and we love each other just like we did 7 years ago.

I have forgotten my past. And I'm now home at last.

Everybody wants a hand, but I'm too busy holding up the world..

One of my favourite band is Travis.

I'm trying to think if I like them more than Vertical Horizon but honestly.. I don't know. They are both completely different. But I do know I can sit at home all day listening to both their albums front to back again, again and again.

I used to sneak car trips to Penang on a school day when the husband and I were still dating (this must be what? 6 - 7 years ago?) and I had only my Vertical Horizon casette to listen to, but it was nice. I didn't like that we were away from each other but every car trip is now a beautiful memory.

Here's one of my favourite songs from Travis.. I don't think anyone write better lyrics than Fran Healy. The song is a bit depressing but hey ho, the husband will tell you I'm the queen of depressing songs.  

Mind your manners!

Why don't people say please or thank you anymore these days?

It really frustrates me.

I have coursemates who skip classes all the time (when I say skip, they probably only attend 35% of their classes!).

Even better, most of my coursemates actually come 30 minutes - an hour after a class have started.... and a class typically lasts only 1 hour 40 minutes.

Of course, it isn't a problem when they're skipping the class. The only problem comes when they do not know how to do the assignment or do not know where to look for information for the assignment.

And who do they ask when they are lost?

Me.

Yes, always the easy target.

Why? Because I actually take the effort to make it in time before a 9am class starts and I sit in for the 3 hour classes even if the lecture bores the hell out of my guts.

And I DO mind when people don't turn up to classes and then proceed to ask me a million questions.

What's worse though, are coursemates messaging me on Facebook asking obvious questions they should know the answer to if they have attended the class, and then after giving them what they want, they just disappear.

They don't say thank you.

That is just disgusting.

I am not rude enough to pretend I didn't get their messages, so these days I just say I don't know, I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Truly. Madly. Deeply

"You know how there are couples that stay together just because they feel they can't do any better or there are people who are sad and miserable and love alone but then there is this microscopically tiny group of people who get to be with the person they are madly in love with." - Loser, 2000.

I feel blessed to be within the microscopically tiny group of people.

I love you babyboo.

Growing up, growing tall

Walking dogs sound fun and easy.. afterall you just strap them up and take them out, what could be so hard.

Well, first off, your dog does not always listen to you off lead. I never realise the level of discipline, communication and commitment you need to have to keep your dog and yourself happy AND safe.

We used to walk Bronx and Jake off the lead in the nearby park.

Most days, it is okay but sometimes you meet the most idiotic and unreasonable people.

I personally believe in only telling my own dog off and not another's even if the other dog is being a nuisance.  I don't think it is my place to discipline another person's dog or wave them off.

Sadly, there are others that believe differently..

There used to be a lady with a Tibetan Terrier who walks her dog in the same park as us and one 'lucky' day we bumped into her.

Bronx was off lead and as usual he would sprint to the other dog to investigate and say hello (if it is a smaller dog, he would try to herd it like sheep - Bronx is a collie and we think he used to live in a sheep farm).

This lady immediately went on defence and started waving her hand at Bronx shooing him away.

We quickly went to grab Bronx and the lady complained that Bronx was trying to attack her dog.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................................................

Bronx attack another dog? Really????

Bronx gets bossed by the neighbourhood cat.

Bronx runs when a plastic bag blows his way.

Bronx sits and patiently allows L to investigatively poke his eyes and pull his ears.

Gosh..

Why would Bronx attack her dog?

Her story was this - My dog is a Tibetan Terrier. He is very rare, and other dogs for some reason or other like to attack him. We think they're jealous.

Can you believe that?

We rolled our eyes, walked away and nick-named her dog Pompous.

A week or so later, we heard from another fellow friendly dog walker that Pompous's owner have been going around telling people Bronx attacked her dog!!

What a nut job!

Thankfully we never saw much of her again, the second time we saw her we were across the street and when her dog saw Bronx he launched into a frenzy of loud barks while Bronx quickly move away.

Heh.

Last we heard she's also moved out of London. Thank god!

Pompous isn't the only dog with stupid, unreasonable owners. We have met quite a handful over the year.

So far, there's already Pompous 2 and Pompous 3.

We have noticed, it is mainly owners with small dogs that are a pain. They always think other dogs are trying to attack their dog.

I used to be really scared dealing with people like that and would constantly apologise even if I wasn't on the wrong but these days I don't anymore.

I hold my ground, tell them off for being rude and walk away.

Jake's death put things into perspective for me and I realised how unimportant all these idiotic and problematic people are.

I realise I didn't have to deal with people who are just out to make life difficult for me. I just have to put them back in their place and move on.

And it has worked a treat.

We no longer have to deal with painful, accusatory emails demanding that we get divorced (I know! How ridiculous is that?) even though we are happy together, love each other and have worked so hard to build the life we have.


I can now stand my ground and fend off unreasonable, unthinking and lazy classmates.

It is still not easy, but we are getting there.

I know it is all part of growing up and we will have to learn all these sooner or later.

Thankfully, we have found ways around our problems and now that we have Bunny, I don't think many people would like to mess with her.

Baby Mine

Bunny the German Sheppard is only about 3 years old, she has lots of energy but can't go for long walks because it makes her tired and it puts too much strain on her front leg.

Luckily for us, she spends half her day being entertained by live TV

She loves watching the rabbits and can stare at them for hours sometimes.. The rabbits aren't really bothered by her presence, they stare back sometimes but most times they just get on with whatever they want to do.

Here's Wibble sleeping like a dead rabbit (always gives us a shock!) and he only does that when he feels completely comfortable with his surroundings.

Once, Wibble decided to sleep in a sausage roll pose (all stretched out, flat on his belly) and Bunny thought he was dead.

She went around the hutch whining as if encouraging him to move and trying to look for signs of life, it was all quite funny.

For some reason or other Wibble does that a lot and I've lost count of the number of times he has managed to frighten both me and the husband.

Here's a photo we took of General Bibbles (Wibble's nickname because he looks like General Woundwort in Watership Down sometimes) yesterday night..

Isn't he just adorable?

Wind beneath my wings

Spent the weekend playing housewife to the husband who was supposed to be doing his coursework. 

Evidently from his previous post.. he wasn't.

We had a noodles weekend because I had some rather strange cravings. We went to the Chinese supermarket because I wanted to eat 'Tai Lok Meen' (which I am supposed to be intolerant to, I can't eat round noodles, they make me nauseous - but this is a story for another day)

So we bought those fat round noodles and braised it with a load of dark soya sauce and added some heart attack inducing pork fat cracklings.. this really isn't a dish for the health concious

As we were also making Char Koay Kak for the weekend, I had some leftover mouli (white radish) and with chicken carcass in the freezer, made mouli soup for the lucky man.

Apparently when my mum was pregnant with me, she ate a lot of Tai Lok Meen.. it was the only thing she wanted and had large plates of it every night..

So you would understand that I cringed with fear when I started craving it for no reason (I've actually never really eaten it before, I stole some from Uncle Mike's plate a few months ago when he ordered it in a restaurant).

Of course you'd expect the husband to panic as well, but I think he's already immuned to my strange, irregular cravings. I don't think I'm pregnant.. a little windy and bloated from the mouli soup, yes, pregnant, probably not.

And no, it's not that we don't want kids, it's just that at this time and with this space, it is going to be near impossible to raise children without killing and stretching ourselves. Plus, I want to have a career before ditching it all for the screaming, probably ungrateful monsters.

We watched a really old movie through the weekend - Beaches, starring Bette Midler.

It was a good show, very emotional and got us both crying our eyes out.

I never realised that the song 'Wind beneath my wings' came from this movie, it always used to irritate me how my dad kept going 'did you ever know that you're my HEEEEEEEEEEEEEerooooooooooooooo????'

Apart from all that crooning, it is a very meaningful song. I guess in any relationship, be it friendship or a love relationship, there is always one person in front and the other behind working together to bring things together for each other.

There will be arguments, quarrels, tears but to have that one loyal person stick by you is  really an honour.

In my case, I will always have wind beneath my wings, courtesy of the windy husband.

Char koay kak

The way to a man's heart...

Sitting here, supposedly doing my coursework, That Thing You Do on the TV as background noise, listening to and smelling the ridiculously mouthwatering sounds and smells of the wife cooking Char Koay Kak...it brings to mind a song I've always thought was very sweet.

...Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me?

Will you still feed me?
When I'm sixty-four?

Written by the Beatles, my favourite version of it by John Pizzarelli et al...never fails to bring a smile to my face

For what it's worth, I love you..

I was in Kingston last Friday after uni and decided to drop by the market to get stuff.

Kingston market has a new butcher that sells free range meat. It IS more expensive than the normal chicken.

You can buy a normal farm bred chicken from Sainsbury's or Tesco's for about £3, the same from Kingston will cost you £5.99 or £10 for 2.

Is it worth the extra £2? 

Definitely. The chicken tastes better, it doesn't have so much fat, the skin is thicker and flesh firmer.

So.. I got us a chicken and some pork belly from the butcher at Kingston as I was having a craving for char siew pau and nam yee pau..

Got cooking during the weekend (yes, despite all the programming coursework I had due), the char siew didn't become pau as there was too much nam yee pork..

This is the husband's first taste of nam yee pau.. I think he will probably stick to char siew.. haha.. 

Bronx on the other hand.....

 

Here's what the paus look like raw, I had extra dough and kaya in the fridge, so made a kaya pau for the husband..

Notice we have our new kitchen worktop in? That's been installed months ago back in November, it's Corian, it's easy to keep clean and it's blue - like Jakey's eyes..

I still miss him... everyday..

It's finally March and spring is a-coming! 

We are going to have a rather full month with 2 pieces of coursework due for the husband, my consulting project going on full swing, both of us researching our thesis and us starting up the finishing jobs for the house again..

April had better hurry and come!

Little girl

Not a few minutes ago a pair of charity fund raisers for the British Red Cross came knocking at our door..

"Hi! Is Mommy or Daddy at home?"

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr???

I stood there a little stunned.. Bunny was barking her head off and Bronx was trying to poke his head in every gap to see what was going on.

"Sorry.. erm.. I'm 25, I don't live with my parents anymore. I'm actually married"

I added a few month to my age and told them I am married because I didn't think they would actually believe me.

"Oh..." Everybody laughed..

This is rather funny.. It happened before 2 years ago while we were living in Richmond.

Surely I have aged, no?

How to be a good project manager

I've just realised that being a project manager is a thankless job..

You have to manage your resources, employees and clients, deal with all the problems that crop up with every sector, try to represent one side to the other in a positive manner even after you have taken a load of shit from them and after everything, get judged for the job you've done (often not in a good way) and the best thing is,

Nobody says THANK YOU!

I have had the opportunity to work briefly with a very good project manager and cannot be grateful enough for the experience that he gave me.

It has mellowed me out, so much so my lecturer made me group leader for a consulting project we are doing at the moment because I'm 'solid and calm'....

Hmm..

Not words you hear about me very often.

Strangely, that is true in my current situation, I am indeed the calmest in the group.

If there is one thing I have very little tolerance for, is people not being punctual.

I understand that there are many mitigating circumstances that can make you late even when you didn't plan to be but at least call me? text me? let me know you're going to be late???

I had a group member stroll come in 20 minutes late for a group meeting yesterday. I was already simmering as she had missed the last meeting and did not care to call me to catch up on it (probably relying on me to go to her instead).

To add to that she did not reply any of my emails to the group asking to meet, resulting in me having to call her the night before to ask if her royal highness was coming.

All that got me angry and frustrated but I kept it as low as I could.

Confronted her about her lateness and she came out with a load of excuses, one of them about trains being 20 minutes apart (duh? why didn't you check the train schedule then??)

Nevermind that, she then questioned me about something I had asked her to do in my email on Friday that was supposed to be delivered and up for discussion yesterday.

.............................................

Sigh.. if you had a problem with what I was asking you to do shouldn't you have brought it up on FRIDAY instead?????

No.. apparently, she does not see the difference..

And she went on and accused me for being nervous about something else and taking it out on her.

Perfect! By then I was ready to eat her, but of course the Project Manager never loses her cool..

At the end of the day, I am the one who have to think out and type emails to the client and send it to my 'group members' for their comments. The comments always come, but the thank yous never arrives.

Anyhow, I am sure I will learn loads through this experience and the cheeky lecturer who made me group leader......... is very cheeky indeed!

And the cherry on top of the cake - one of my group members still refuses to acknowledge that there is a group leader within the group. He thinks there should be none..

As such, I am the unacknowledged group leader who have to do all the donkey work of a group leader.

Wonderful.

I begin to understand why the great Project Manager I worked with previously always says thank you to all his team members after a hard day's work. It is difficult to get people who will work for you and respond to you accordingly even though you have the title 'Manager'.

So, a good project manager remembers to say thank you.

That said, one day I will get there.

money money money

A classmate (who I dislike, and then again, how many people do I actually like?) made a comment in class last week about money being the most important element driving consultants to produce good work.

Poor thing..

To think that I already dislike him - he smokes, doesn't attend class, is late when he attends class, has an annoying loud voice, has an ego as big Jupiter and treats women like they only have a place in the kitchen (he kind of told me off for challenging his view (which was incorrect!) during a class debate because he elected himself group leader and apparently I shouldn't have disagreed with what he said because we were in the same group HEH!)

Honestly.. I can't stand the sight of him and I think he knows.

What an arsehole.

Anyway..

I still don't understand why some people still think that money should be the greatest motivation for work and life.

I'm not denying that we all need money, you do, but do you need to be greedy and have loads of it?

It makes live boring (the simple things in life won't make you happy anymore), it makes a person greedy, it promotes selfish behaviour and it allows doubt to creep into your head. Before long you'll start thinking that the whole world is after your stupid pot of money!

I know a man who loves money, wants money but somehow never had the luck to have much money. I wouldn't say he's a miserable man but he's certainly not satisfied, and he always thinks he'll be happier when he has money.

On the other hand, I know a woman who puts priority on money and has the luck to own money but I personally think she's probably more miserable than the man who doesn't have money and I don't think she's happy either.

She is always worried that people are not sincere with her because they're just after her riches and she even tries to buy love with money. It gets so bad, she drives away family.

Either way, it seems like a lose lose situation. So why concentrate so hard on money? Why not concentrate on something else?

cutiepies

Was called for some emergency babysitting today..

Not the best of time unfortunately, I am currently swamped with work..

But all that fades away when you see two beaming tiny cutiepies at the door going 'Ae Mi! Ae Mi! AEEEE MIII!!!'

And then they give you hugs and if you're lucky, kisses and they show you all their toys and all the naughty things they've been doing...

It's all very cute.. and then they go.. 'where's Chieh?' and go on some long explanation about Chieh coming later, ring the bell and we open the door and wa lah! Chieh's here..

Of course, Chieh is in the office.. so they went 'Ohhhhh.. Chieh in the office.. Chieh's working'

It is very cute to meet little people, especially those you love and lucky us, we are blessed with 2 we don't have to take home.

Haha!

The Dream, simplified

After much thought, have simplified the dream:

1) Produce something awesome that people will want to give me lots of money for forever and ever, amen

2) Retire in peace and never work again

That should make it slightly easier

The Dream

In simple, 2-step process:

1) Write awesome programs that people will buy in the millions

2) Retire in peace and never work again

...if only step 1 was a lot easier to achieve

Happy Birthday Pui Ma Ma!

Today.. the grandma turns 73 (shhhhhh....)

She will insist that she is 74 because that's her Chinese age (Chinese babies are born aged 1) and today is actually her Chinese birthday, which is the first day of Chinese New Year.

I don't think she has any idea what her english birth date actually is but anyway.. it makes it easier for us to remember her birthday..

My grandma is special.

She has never been to school, she cannot read and cannot write.

As kids we taught her how to read and recognise numbers.

Often, relatives will write their phone numbers down on her address book but it doesn't help as the poor woman can't recognise all numbers!

Haha...

I don't think many people have grandparents who are illiterate, my other 3 grandparents could read and write.

Yet, this illiterate grandmother is the one person who played the most important role in my cousins' and my life. She became the center of our universe without even realising it.

Today, we have all left her nest but I don't think a day goes by where we don't think of her.

She might not have taught us how to read or write, but she taught us how to love without putting conditions on us to love her back and for that I am forever grateful.

I often sit and wonder how I am going to tell Poppy and Jake about their wonderful great grandparents, how they gave me the best start in life which is so different to the life they are going to have..

I only hope P & J will get to meet them and maybe know them like I got the chance to.

Doggies go night night

Last week we were at Pevensey Bay on holiday with the dogs and rabbits.. yeap.. all 6 of us can actually fit in the car even with the rabbit's hutch.

We rented a nice house close to the beach (literally 1 - 2 minutes walk away) and had a nice week away.

The dogs absolutely loved the beach!

They were chasing each other.. sniffing stones.. annoying the seagulls and Bunny tried to eat a mussel :P

We had a bit of an incident with the husband's thumb.. and also some stomach churning but apparently very fresh oysters (according to the husband as I can't do most seafood) but other than that.. all's good

The dogs were mostly sleeping when we were not at the beach.. there was a particular sofa they had both quite taken to unfortunately.. so.. we had some argumentative whines over whether the OAP or Disabled Dog qualified better for it..

Bunny is extremely good at posing in her sleep.. haha.. she even snores like a human when she had kennel cough..

We also found a good pet shop in Eastbourne and sent the dogs in for a grooming session.. they had a really cute toy rabbit Bunny was rather attracted to so we bought it for her and also a toy fox for Bronx.. unfortunately.. Bronx wasn't too interested with Mr Fox so Bunny adopted him..

 Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Fox

 Bunny caring for her babies

Grumpy old man

Bunny would make a really good mother.. she cares for Mr Rabbit and Mr Fox.. licking them clean all the time and never bites them.. she carries them around lightly in her mouth and brings one of them wherever she goes (the other is probably sleeping in her mind.. lol!)

Of course this post wouldn't be complete without pictures of the husband being silly.. so.. here goes

Ode to my thumb

What was my thumb

Is now a stump

Cause Bunny bit

The nail off it

We've just returned from a week long break in Pevensey Bay (we like going to the seaside in the winter months. It means no one else is there)

Unfortunately, Bunny and Bronx decided to have a turf war on the second night we were there and in the line of duty as peacekeeping task force, half the thumbnail on my right hand was ripped off, so we spent a 4 hour wait in the Eastbourne General Hospital A&E (so that's where all those people who aren't at the beach go...) to get my thumb pickled in antiseptic solution and wrapped in a bandage that now makes it look twice its natural size. On the bright side, I get the perfect excuse not to do the dishes. On the downside, I can't exactly do much else with my usual grace and style

It was a great holiday otherwise though. I'm expecting my purple heart any time now. And we never did find the missing part of the thumbnail, although shortly after the incident Bronx was snuffling around the area and then acting like he had something small and hard stuck in his throat for a short while...

Ironic, isn't it that a couple weeks ago I was posting about how much I like dogs?

Tiger Mother my ass..

The husband found an article in The Wall Street Journal about a woman claiming that Chinese mothers are more superior. You can read this article here. It is long.. and by the end of it you'll probably be fuming mad, like the both of us, but it is worth seeing what crazy people exist in the world today.

Her daughter later wrote an article claiming that people did not understand her mother's humour, that they actually have lots of fun within the family and people don't see that.

I believe her. I know exactly what she's talking about. Why?

I grew up with a person like that.

A person who demanded nothing but 100% from me. I was not to get anything but 1st in class. Maths and English exam papers had to have 100% stamped on them, otherwise I got beaten with a cane.

And this same person is also my best friend in many ways.

I love him. I share jokes with him, some of my best memories, I had with him.

But what he demanded of me left marks.

It made me feel like I am constantly not good enough. It made me feel like I was not wanted, that I was a liability to them whenever I do not perform.

It also made me depressed when I was 13. It made me go to bed every night wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. It made me think of ways of how to get rid of myself.

And if I had not met the husband and a few good friends, I would probably have got my way and today I wouldn't exist.

I wouldn't have a family, I wouldn't be the 'pride and joy' of the person who demanded so much of me he almost killed me.

Until today I have not truly told him what he did to me and I don't think I will ever.

I am no where as successful as the article's author's daughters but I am pretty much what he wanted me to become.

I hate to think that so many mindless, over ambitious young parents are going to read this and think 'Yes! I want my children to be like her!' and then go on and implement her ways.

It is not right and I don't think it will ever be.

Dogs

I saw a man and his dog at Goodge Street station today, and I wish I'd taken a picture. The dog looked so puzzled, but looked at the master and the look on his face said, "well, it's weird, it's unnatural, but if you want to go underground, put yourself in a tin can going at high(-ish) speed, shuffle in a crowd with all these stinky people, and listen to all these funny loud noises, and it makes you happy, I'm going to go along with it"

And people wonder why I like dogs so much more than cats...

Nga Ku

We've got presents from Malaysia!

The dad have become a bit of an expert in frying arrowroot? arrowhead? chips and offered to send some over. They're delicious!

Unlike the commercial ones which are often too thin and very oily, the dad's chips have got a bite to it and no oily aftertaste. Heck, it isn't even oily to the touch.

The only problem is that we had some delicious vietnamese frozen durian yesterday night (Vietnamese durian as we've just found out is very much like Malaysian durian and not the Thai ones which are much larger but often tasteless..) and today, I woke up with a bit of a sore throat.. :P

Shhh.. don't tell the mum.