1) I haven't got a proper dress for the occasion
2) FATS (with an extra big S)
Yes!! FATS!!!
They are EVERYWHERE!!
On my belly.. on my legs.. on my arms..
Oh.. what happened to my once super toned and tanned swimming arms I very proudly paraded with sleeveless tees??
GONE!! Yes, years of neglect have turned muscles into fat and now I'm panicking and wondering how I'm ever going to look good at my wedding!!
I can't have Barney (that's what we think we're going to name our boy for now) looking at my wedding photos and going ' Oh my god, mummy you had such FAT arms!!!'
It just can't be done.
You want your children to look at your old photos and think to themselves 'Gosh.. my mum's so pretty' or 'My dad's so lucky.. I wonder if I'll find a wife as pretty as my mum'
Nevermind about looking fat after getting pregnant!! You could always blame it on the fat baby that enlarged your belly!!
Anyway, to counter our rather big problem we have gone for a 3 prong attack:-
1) Wall push ups - Rosie (Kok's girlfriend) was here last weekend and she recommended doing wall push ups to tone the arms (not build muscular ugly looking ones like you get from floor push ups!). 40 in the day and 40 at night. I'm working on that!
2) Slendertone - Slendertone is this waist belt thingy that is supposed to trim your waist (not burn the fat but builds muscles so that you tummy won't sag and look like a blob of fat)
and if all don't work.. we have No. 3
3) Spanx - some magical body suit that is supposed to make you look trim and hide the mean stuff!
You will probably spot a great flaw in my 3 prong attack. There's nothing in there for the legs (I don't think Spanx hide leg fat).
That's just fine.. because the dress will hide my fat thighs and if I think my legs are too fat to be seen everyone in my wedding album will just have to go legless..
Bwahahahahaha................................
